we were taking shots of hot tequila, which is even worse than it sounds
Sometimes i look at the biltmore estate and wonder just how small George Vanderbilt's penis was...
It honestly took me longer to beat Ninja Turtles: Turtles in Time, than it did to have sex with her the first time we met.
Wow, So this kid just walked into class, yak'd on his lab partner then runs out. Class is now cancelled. I gotta find this kid and Thank him.
I had fun. Till he melissa etheridged my ass and came to my window.
how was ur day?
this is strictly sexting don't make small talk.
You were laying in bed whispering and crying to the half eaten burrito saying "why am I shitting so much" and "what did I do to deserve this"
and lets be real... who can blow a middle school class's sunday school teacher and keep a straight face ever again? NOBODY.
Only thig bad about that muscular chick from the gym is she liked it so rough I had to bust out a few wrestling moves from highschool
Did my roommate wake up in your girlfriend's apartment in drag again?
Also, let me tell you how embarrassing it is to match with someone who seemingly has their shit together at 4:45AM on a Thursday.
Has anyone heard from Jamie or has she actually just been having sex for 48 hours?
Hey I just woke up in the back of a pickup truck parked at taco bell... Can u come get me?
Her tits are so fantastic they gave him a panic attack.
Dick pics just aren’t doing it for me, this bowl of Mac n cheese and Game of Thrones trump you tenfold
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