Say something about gay babies.
Not only did I hold your hair back as you puked, i french braided it. I am such a great friend.
Desperately trying not to throw up over the side of the ferry back to CT. Can't be the first one of the season.
so far we have 6 big wheels and 10 boxes of wine for the tour de franzia. team drunkslut is favored to win the yellow jersey.
Going to rent a magician for when I eat shrooms. How has no one thought of this?
See this is why people shouldn't jump into marriage. See what type of drunk you're engaged to first.
It's okay. My lingerie drawer is skanky enough for the two of us. Even across borders.
You need to stop having girl talk with the guys I'm sleeping with.
She saves ONE person's life while blacked out and now she's positive anything can be done "while fucking hammered"
do you know how much drugs we can buy now that you got that raise at work
STONER SAFETY TIP: don't use the driver's side vanity mirror to check how red your eyes are while you're driving. it won't work. trust me.
Kinda awkward to hear your aunt complain about loose women when you're in town to be a stunt dick for a swingers convention. Just sayin.
Never drinking before a 6am train again. Just threw up at boarder control and had to pretend it was cause I was pregnant and not cause I trashed.
You make Europe seem so glamorous.
I didn't expect the hobit to have that much sexual tension.
I'm hung over and my mom made me go to church. I feel like such a sinner.
I need an aspirin and some dignity.
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