why do my parents always seem to be having way more sex than i do?
And I'm ok with his balls touching my ass
you know its summer when you wake up on the toilet
I'm sorry I make you whore yourself out to him everytime I'm drunk and want mcdonalds.
I'd recommend you leave that level of crazy to the experts. I'd start with an under appreciated soccer mom if I were you.
I'm thinking about slathering myself with peanut butter and going to the dog park. What's the worst that could happen?
Regardless of age or alcohol consumption, the knowledge that my dad spanks my mom sexually has the very real potential to fuck my shit up.
I just had to take a picture of someone whose testicles are bigger than my fists combined. Living the dream.
You said you couldn't use your body anymore so you made me push the buttons on your phone while you made alien sound effects
It's like sexual waterboarding. You gave me sex so good I'm comparing it to torture. Jesus.
Do not ever get that redhead chem major high. Gave her a magic brownie and she sat in a corner and literally cried about organic chem. Never again.
Out of ten? A seven. You pulled your shorts down to your ankles, jumped into the pool and announced you were a merman.
My vape juice got mixed up with the astroglide.
Wow..I bet that tasted bad.
Not tasted.
Imma make him fuck me with my jersey on tonight while I chant Go Jets Go. Gotta love playoff hockey szn.
Plan before tomorrows interview: wash off green glitter from EVERYWHERE!!!
Randomize
