Definitely saw about 20 people at my final that were never present before. It's like seeing who's gonna be serving me fries in 4 years.
Stalkers don't have time for showers...it's a full time job
i don't care what you say, the winery is open and 10am is NOT too early to go barrel tasting
the point i decided it was time to leave was when i was on the floor of the bar, after taking her down with me, and a table.
Just tried on my bathing suit for the first time this year. Had to drink a beer to numb the pain.
12 garbage cans filled with water, a beer can floating in every garbage can, 20 ft. apart and you shoot with dodge balls..and thats only how the night began
all i wanted was to be slutty. now i'm meeting him for drinks tomorrow because he woke up before i had a chance to sneak out and was too polite to say no
I might come over. Something about you makes me matronly and I have this urge to nurse you back to health with soup and a blowjob
Judge me all you want, but while you are stuck at home eating Ramen and tap water, I will be dining with some guy who, although might be the same age as my father, is filthy rich.
MY TWIN SISTER IS ENGAGED. I REPEAT, MY SCREW UP OF A SISTER IS ENGAGED. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
I'll be there in 20 with vodka.
I wanna come do a blessing for your apartment. And by that I mean I want to drink a lot of whiskey and watch ancient aliens in your apartment
You left me alone with nothing but donuts and my thoughts.
Sorry for trying to baptize you last night
You knew the entire thing in Latin I was so impressed
Wanna get drunk and make some bad decisions?
Are you calling me a bad decision?
Last night was fun but it wasn't right. I will say that our lives intersected for a brief and intense moment and we will just leave it there.
Randomize
