Heybabeimwearingurpanties
It was at that point the crowd that gathered realized i wasn't getting arrested, and passed the sobriety tests. I got a standing ovation from 25 strangers
Her parents hate her and she's on like major lockdown. All her friends are in jail and she has massive pit stains. Dude... It doesn't get much worse than that.
This girl I work with, who is 18 btw, invited me to her baby shower. Do they sell abortions in gift certificate form?
The woman in front of me has a completely clear purse. I can see everything. It's ballsy because her vagisil is on display.
just saw an anti-abortion rally outside of the courthouse...so naturally i tossed them out a coat hanger i found in my car
I introduced him to the male G-Spot. Don't ever tell me I'm not experienced.
Ps there is nothing more humbling in the world than havin to watch cheaper by the dozen on the waiting room tv while getting the morning after pill at the drs. Nothing
He gave me twenty cool ranch tacos and declared, drunk, " Look, I do good"
dude I don't even care if I'm getting catfished the point is I'm going to get laid. hot bitch, fat bitch, skanky bitch, i don't care my penis is having an adventure tonight regardless
My dad just saw me take dirty one night stand underwear out of my purse. I'm willing to admit I have a problem
Can you get snapchat back so I can show you all the places I threw up in/on last night?
I'm going to write a new song and call it "Did I wax my vagina for this?" remind me to never go across the country for a penis ever again.
It's only ok to pee out the window in the afternoon when you're drunk.
He just compared fucking my vagina to a snow flake falling on his forehead: gentle.... I'm not sure if that's a compliment or not.
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