So pretty much, I was trying to piece last night together and remembered a point where I was pointing to you heart then touching your face. I'm not sure that I ever translated that to "I like your personality better than your looks" but that's what I meant
I was actually kinda bummed my STD test came back negative.
That would have been proof he'd slept with the stripper. Lame.
That blackeyed peas song was on, so I thought that was prediciting tonight was going to be a good night. And then my garage door opner fell and hit me in the head.
I literally just copy and pasted that from another bbm convo bc I'm far too stoned to explain that again.
I don't think he's ever woke up with a paraplegic stripper sitting on his face before.
i am officially better prepared for a hangover tomorrow than i was for christmas.
It's like there's a party and my mouth and everyone's throwing up
theres 5 guys on the side of the road with beads and their shirts off screaming at cars already.
after last halloween when i met that 26yr old guy from russia who was hot until we madeout and he became obsessed with touching my forehead after the ecstasy he did and then tried to sell me pills from an m&m mini container, i think im staying away from parties downtown
Na Im fine, just need to un-grow this vagina I've developed
He offered to buy me free breakfast if I stayed at the hotel overnight with him. I then realized they have a complimentary breakfast.
Once you jizz in someones hat, you cant take it back.
He just pulled his sweatpants down and pissed in the middle of our garden
Would you consider masturbating to Hocus Pocus an adulthood high or low?
Is it something I'm going to want to hug you for or slap you for?
I think i got beer on your cat.
Randomize
