3:47a: I take it you're not on your way over
i don't remember it, but i know we had sex because my stuffed animals were facing the wall
we just pregamed for our presentation... gotta love group bonding
I dont know if he should be happy or mad about it but he's too big for a blow job.
fireball beer pong. youre missing out
how is that even possible?
ove gloves.
be there in ten.
pretty sure I offered to blow her dad. she's not speaking to me & he won't stop winking at me.
i think every time you texted me i responded with 'bathroom floor'
As we were fooling around he told me he was conceived on this bed like it would turn me on.
I have the Everlasting Gobstopper of boners right now. It's kinda like a gift from god, but I don't want to spend anymore time with this girl than I have to.
I have to stop envisioning penises as dragons.
Doing lines off a plate that says, "things go better with coke."
N I'm drinking this invention I call "do-it-fluid" I had a bottle of vodka that was 3/4th empty, so I put in 1/4th rum, 1/4th tequila, 1/4th whisky... it's definitely the worst idea ever..
This is my punishment for trynna have a festive time with a stranger. I always forget you can't get weird with one night stands
he sneezed into my face mid-kiss
Bless his heart
I’m going to have to rewatch all of them. Drugs, man.
Randomize
