He's been sleeping iwht ***
Nooo
Yeah I don't even know how, she looks like her mom smoked crack while she was in the womb
And then hit her in the face with a shovel
OMG. Drunk.
I'm so glad you fill me in on these things.
Sorry. Must've been trying to twitter.
and by charming I mean he has a horse cock.
he got his own cum in his own eye. TWICE. how do you make that mistake again?
Im sending over a girl who thinks youre in the next twilight movie
your the best winggirl ever
I was so scared, I actually heard my grandmother's voice in my head saying if I get pregnant, then my vagina will fall off. And then I'm going to die.
Like if I don't roll around in my puke, the night will be a failure.
I really should sober up and deal with this hangover
It seems to be one of those life decisions I'm perfectly content never making though
they're like a gay fantastic four
When I said 'i love my boyfriend' I didn't mean 'send me a picture of your penis'.
Although I commend your efforts to keep my penis away from her, your sister is now booty walking up my stairs. Good game though, good game.
I'm resourceful. I forgot we don't have coca cola so now I'm drinking Jack & Dew or Mountain Daniels. Also, I haven't decided on an official name yet for this drink. I'm leaning toward Jack & Dew
When we were having sex last night, I told him I would replace him with tacos
You just can't go back to being friends with someone after you sucked their balls
you yelled, puked and cried then passed out in the fetal position in your underwear
Randomize
