i'm sure her mom would have loved to find out her daughter has herpes via facebook
Call it a failed empirical study as to whether drugs would make her more interesting. or at least better in bed.
Vibrating panties would be amazing during this conversation!
she is like cheap alcohol. you can only get so buzzed before you get sick.
did you dip my ponytail in franzia? its the only thing i can think of to explain my hair right now.
had my ear almost bitten off in foreplay. the sex gods do not like me.
there is beer in every square inch of this apartment and he hasn't even lived in it for 24 hours. we're playing some game that involves slamming beer, beer pong and smacking people's cups out of their hands.
come help me. im curled up in the fetal position on the upper floor of the lib. please bring more caffeine or alcohol
its ok. its hell week the lib is a no judgment zone right now
She has a boyfriend. But if he's a decent human being he understands blowjobs don't count as cheating with her. Keeping those miracles to himself is a crime against humanity.
I probably should have waited until after the game to pity fuck him. You know, seeing as we lost.
Just realized I used a picture of my little sister to holler at a guy, only 3 months old and she's already my wingman.
Just banged your ex. So it really is 'him, not you' in that he's gay. Rodeo champion gay.
The girl who comes up after me always strips to Lana Del Rey. I didn't think working in a strip club could be any more depressing.
I think I died and satan has brought me back to life and I'm paying for my sins with this hangover
its been well over a year and hes still saying sex with me was epic
Randomize
