When did we start counting Thursdays as weekends?
When we got our fake ids in grade 11, why?
I just feel like it's time to start counting wednesdays as well...
She gave me a blow job and her mom gave me blueberry muffin afterwards. I love them.
EMERGENCY: IS A KAREOKE RICKROLL ACCEPTABLE IN THE YEAR 2011?
Just found bacon bits in my pocket. Blackout buffet is the best.
Just had a guy dressed only in a towel ask me for a cig, hug me and kiss me then proceeded to pee of the balcony while still talking to me and callin me baby
But you have work tomorrow. And a whore to pick up. And a dinner to eat. And a vagina to slaughter. Your day is full!
I appreciate the concept of vaginal slaughtering.
I've lost all respect for marriage since I joined this bachelor party.
He sent me a snap chat of his naked torso with cookies over his nipples. Like.... that does not make me want you homeboy.
I greatly enjoy being related to her. Even if is it only by a penis.
Bringing families together since 1987
I couldn't drink enough to fuck the friend, you said challenge accepted and stole some chicks shot.
I woke up without my clothes on covered up with a towel on the floor because for some reason I took a bath in my clothes at 2am.
Turns out both me and my grandpa have a guilty pleasure for South American men.
Allow me to explain. Triple D is a surprise. It's like if you're expecting to fight one person, then you get ambushed by more. Except it's a good ambush, because it's boobs, not death.
Oh god it's open bar.
Soooooooo high. David tried to rinse the water droplets out of the sink for 5 minutes
Randomize
