I didn't notice until this morning that he had a six inch RAT TAIL...
i wish you could fill a pinata with booze
I think a girl in front of me glued an ugg tag to a weird pair of boots.
do you know anything about the $5 bill with my name stapled to it in my purse??
People were stuck in the elevator screaming and freaking out. I banged on the door and yelled, "fire depart!" They got excited and then I ran away. lolz
I'm pretty sure that I'm earning a horrible reputation with your friends, but I'm having a fucking great time in the process.
I wonder if that one guy remembers you sticking salami to his forehead when he was passed out on new years eve.
It was perfect I came I passed out in his comfortable bed then a glass of jack Daniels fell from the bed post and spilled all over my face
I guess at this point I should stop judging guys on their looks and more on their major and trust fund. Growing up sucks.
apologized to him about 10 times for being drunk. told him about 15 times that he was "really pretty"
It's getting harder and harder to fake orgasms as I get older.
Did we do drunk science last night? There's tequila in the test tubes...
I fit in backpacks. BOOM HERE I AM! Like a stripper from a cake.
UHG. i just want to have hot lesbian sex and eat pizza with you.
We’re leaving where are you
Hold on Toxic just started playing
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