Getting food. Want anything?
Vagina. Double meat no buns. I have the secret sauce
the way she shouted out instructions during sex made me feel like I was having sex with my gym teacher
I feel like Tiger Woods should send Jesse James a gift basket or something...
Its officially tradition: I black out every year on michael jackson's death day..
I just need to actually convince myself that drunkenly having sex won't help me forget the last time I drunkenly had sex, it only makes the situation worse.
Quite frankly, I consider the fact that I'm NOT pregnant one of my greatest achievements and I'd like to chronicle that ongoing success. I'm going to post pictures of me at "0 weeks" once a week.
The last thing I remember is pushing my way into the bathroom and dumping a 40 on him. We havent talked since.
Maybe I should forgo underwear.
This is a family BBQ no?
My mom just looked at me while watching the fireworks and asked if it reminded me of how I felt after sex. I'm so uncomfortable.
No padding. I spent my whole summer with my nips out. October don't need that too.
I need vodka mixed w a bit of holy water right now
I JUST REALIZED THAT SINCE LEIA IS TECHNICALLY A PRINCESS AND KYLO REN IS HER SON AND STAR WARS IS OWNED BY DISNEY...KYLO REN IS LITERALLY A DISNEY PRINCE.
Oh my Gods. Why. Why did you have to tell me that. D:
SO YOU CAN SUFFER HAVING THAT KNOWLEDGE TOO.
My mother is currently smoking weed with a dying bee so his last moments aren't miserable. And she wonders why I rescued a grasshopper missing a leg.
Despite how often it occurs, I have absolutely no interest in having sex with myself
Only you could get too drunk for taco bell. I don't know if I'm jealous or ashamed. Go to bed.
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