honestly if we didnt hate the same people we would have a friendship based on nothing
remember when jerking off was fun and not a neccesity
Buying $100 worth of beef jerkey sounded like a terrific idea last night.
God gave me these boobs for a reason other than for people to throw things down them.
I've been crying in my room listening to Billy Joel for 2 hours. Thank God Four Loko was banned.
we are sitting in a kindergarden classroom alone chugging beer. look at our lives. look at our choices.
Looks like a significant portion of my drinking money just became legal fees.
So I hear you're taking over showing your penis responsibilities now that I'm gone?
its amazing there are so many photos of me and him separately, since most of that party time was spent sneaking away to fuck upstairs...
So apparently using the emergency exit of the bar as a bathroom is frowned upon in this establishment...
I told him to just roll me a blunt and put it in a heart shaped box.
I don't know when it is this year, but if I ever text you an illegible text that also happens to contain sharks, Shark Week started.
She made sure everyone knew we were doing shots for her dead grandma.
so I was eating out this girl who was wearing my pirate hat In an alley behind the bar last night and some girl walks up and takes a picture. apparently we had a crowd of about 10 and it turned her on so she just didn't tell me
I like to be the stable force in your otherwise chaotic existence.
Randomize
