a very overweight girl in the ER just said she trippped over the invisible wii jump rope and fell
i had a dream last night that you and i organized a foursome. swear to god
ps i'll be in miami in early july. this text has no relation to the last one
Say it nicely.
Fine. I want to lovingly bend you over and lovingly fuck the shit out of you. Happy?
Finished the final in under ten minutes and then puked in the bushes outside. I don't even care if I graduate anymore.
Just had to throw up on the floor of my car during traffic on the way to work. Car next to me saw both times. Found the downside to having a job right after graduation.
just threw up what i'm pretty sure look like contents of a lava lamp
its like..once you have one emotional drunk night, you can't stop. i feel like i have to end every drunken night in tears and i dont think my roommates think it's heartwarming anymore
yeah its nbd she just bit me in the face. be there soon
Driving by his house every hour is not stalking, it's a reconnaissance mission... How else can I confront him
So that 100 days of sobriety thing I told you about last week? Lasted all of 4 days. Fuck it, life's too short
My tights ended up on the driveway folded neatly. Any ideas how that happened?
ok now I feel liek a very drunk human instead of a chaos being thanks water
Yes we can sext. I'm taking my socks off.
He's a waste of a perfectly good penis.
MY TITS JUST CAUSED A CAR ACCIDENT ON THE HIGHWAY! i kid you not!! i thinl the giy is actually dead
Randomize
