Apparently mediocre decisions were made last night. I woke up alone in my own bed with my fridge defrosted.
And I didn't go to bed alone. I am buckets of fail.
I'd be more interested in girls if they were more interested in anal.
I should have been more specific when I asked for 8 inches.
i just shit on the floor of my room. my roommate was in the bathroom, my choices were limited.
He got arrested in front of the church last night. Looks like we need to find a new location for the wedding.
she was puking red wine out the car window, telling me about how shes joining weight watchers tomorrow, not okay.
I thought 4 percs were too many but I'm dumping Gogurt on apple pie and taking giant bong rips. This feels right.
Traded my phone for pizza, then got it back this morning....successful night
We shot off some fireworks at 12 and then I orchestrated the group singing of god bless the USA all while wearing a don't tread on me flag as a cape. I repped hard.
I had to convince someone last night that the fact that he couldn't get me off wasn't him it was me and to clarify I had to tell him there was only. One person that got me off every time without fail, he said "that guy is my hero" you should be proud
All I vaguely remember from last night is getting up on that nice mahogany table and debating about squirrel's rights
I take pride in being a married 31 year old who sleeps on her best friend's bathroom floor from time to time.
Sorry for yelling at you, I'm just really emotional about missing comicon.
It does not feel like it was just this morning that I had a penis in multiple cavities of my body
I was so high last night that at one point I kept licking his neck saying he tasted like soap and truffles.
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