You picked a bad night to stay in. ____ caught her hair on fire in ____'s birthday cake.
She had to stop drop and roll while two other girls beat the flames out. She might have a black eye
Haha oh wow he'd be perfect. He's got everything MTV looks for in a real world cast member. Gay. Tool. From Methuen
I found a girl on our couch wearing lederhosen this mornig... I dont know if i should be impressed or ashamed
I'm gonna make this happen. You think it would be too forward to text him my room number with turn by turn directions straight to my crotch?
Update: still drunk enough to get lost in Zellers and to think my reflection was my mother. Awesome day.
I sang Jenna happy bday in the middle of throw up hurls
He wouldn't give me a cup of water for my bong so i sat in the drive thru to run up the timer until he gave it to me.
We'll find out our level of friendship after tonight. You'll be helping me move a body. My body.
Don't get me wrong, I love talking about lube and such, but why are we?
HEY. That drawer full of booze in my dorm room also has aspirin and Tums in it. So don't tell me I don't care about health.
i found waldo and immediately set him to work eating me out. please have more out of season costume parties.
I just found out how I got home last night. The bartenders found me sitting in the brush peeing and called me a cab. Have you seen my underwear?
i wish i could put you in a lil box, and keep you for when i need to be blown
I think I may have gotten way too used to using my boobs as an extra hand/pocket...almost stabbed myself in the chin bc I forgot I put my fork there
Can’t. It’s taco and dick night.
Randomize
