I had a dream last night that I was the one that killed Biggie
These headphones make me feel like I'm sitting on John Mayers lap and he's singing just to me. I picture like a pitch black room with a single spotlight on us. Also, convinced Kyle to give me percocet soo.
Sometime between a drunk guy asking me if I'm a Beach person or a lake person WHILE HIS HAND WAS IN HIS FUCKING PANTS or breaking up a lady fight over peewee football league I started to reevaluate my life and self
we left the music on while we were fucking. some kanye west song started playing and he started to cry
is there a reason blood came out of my hair in the shower?
head injury at diner. you headbutted the wall a few times because it got in your way
There is booty call etiquette, and he just isn't following it. I'm not making you breakfast, gtfo.
You told me that you were as fast as lightning and you wanted to race me. Then you faceplanted after falling down the stairs.
Is it weird that I'm looking up pubic hairstyles?
tuscaloosa is terrifying
like people here are just empty shells of drugs and sin
there is no mercy here
I need to be her Aladdin, and show her the world. The sex world.
You took one look at him and said "let's hope I don't remember this tomorrow" then you took another shot and chased it with a beer.. I guess it was a success.
I can't believe you tried to cock block me from A DIFFERENT TIME ZONE.
also, i'm not sure if i'm proud to say this but our regional manager's hot fiance was grinding on me at the reception while he stood and watched.
i suppose that explains why he told me he plans on promoting you this Friday.
Woke up went to work ate beef after three year hiatus shat my pants went to bed
HER BOYFRIEND CAME HOME WHILE WE WERE GETTING IT ON IN THE SHOWER
At least you smelled nice while he kicked your ass.
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