I feel like a panda just shit rainbows on my mind
I just saw a girl wearing a flannel shirt that would make 1992 cringe
She told you broke her computer after the little square in tetris wouldn't rotate for you...
OH GOD PAJAMAS ARE SUCH A HARD CONCEPT RIGHT NOW
he's like a stage 5 clinger and he won't even fuck me. he has to be gay. my personality isn't really THAT great.
Pretty sure I blacked out the last 48 hours, the last thing I remember is the 4 pm bar crawl on Thurs
Can you believe they're going to let me be a doctor?
Just got blown in a rental car. I need to get rear ended more often
Very excited! Vodka will be shot, dicks will be ridden, and memories made.
i would have fingered myself to death by now but the dog wont stop staring at me
Ok, so technically yes she wore a red tank top to the stoplight party. But under it was a yellow bra and green panties.
I just used a beer funnel to put gas in my car
Side note: the physics of a guy my size and age getting laid in the backseat of a Toyota Camry are absolutely staggering
We got signed out of jail by an Uber driver. I think that qualifies as a great first night of college
Was the picture of her twerking on a fake plant sufficient?
Can you send me the picture you took of me smoking a joint with the cat make-up on?
Randomize
