did you know they have Ed Hardy school supplies at Target? it's like folders and notebooks for little douchebags in training.
Just made a pepperoni sandwich with cheese, mayo, and pickles. Poverty is like pot, without the happy feeling.
We just found a handle of vodka in our fridge and no one knows how it got there. God I love spring break.
Oh my god my life; so much cake and so little sex
I didn't think about how painful the pumpkin seeds coming up the next morning would be. Oh well, I'm good at making pumpkin seeds and that's all that matters.
I'm spoon feeding myself tequila for breakfast, should we skip class today?
i think you may have a shot to cock block in a moment. just saying.
Wake up an cock block please bc these are noises i dont ever want to hear again
I think having a vagina should be considered a skill, give me a break.
WHY AM I CRAWLING IN OLDER MEN HOLY JESUS
just in the smoking shack with my sister cheering on a caterpillar make its cocoon
I'm eating hummus off of my stomach right now.
I have invented a new game to play on campus. It's called "Mormons or Pledges?" It's fantastic.
You're just a heartbreaker with a knitting problem
HOW THE FUCK IS IT POSSIBLE THAT THE JUNIOR HIGH STUDENT IS BETTER AT BEING AN ADULT THAN I AM!?!?
I'm sittin in my Hawaiian shorts watching the office eating cold asparagus. wow do I suck when you're not here.
Randomize