the line for where the wild things are looks like radiohead had sex with an urban outfitters
she bought me drinks at the bar, made me pizza at her place, gave me head, and then drove me home...i think i might propose
I think I am the only girl in the world who would be proud of these scars from rug burn.
What I dont get, is for a man with a penis his size, to choose to go back with another girl instead of one that he says is the best sex he's ever had. He cant afford to be picky.
Two hours into move in day and the ambulance is here already.
I forgot not everyone drinks wine out of the bottle. My grandma just asked if i needed a glass with a disappointing look.
Where are you? I hear fireworks and you've gone missing. I'm sure that is not coincidence.
Last thing I remember clearly was, "ok, but if we're are gonna get drunk before class, there's no half-doing this"
We hit a golf ball off Brady's ass. His dignity flew away into the night.
I just remember her dragging me inside in a panic saying we needed mentos and popcorn I have no fucking clue how we ended up asleep in her closet.
I know we were going to go hiking today, but I don’t think I can face reality until Wednesday
took shots off of a myriad of fake boobs last night. It was glorious.
it's like i'm making a family tree of tunnel buddies for my vagina
I always felt my time would come in the form of a tidal wave of whisky
I only have sex with you to have a memory to masturbate to.
Randomize
