Sex on bubble wrap = best decision ever.
It's a law of Nature, girls naturally hate eachother. It's only when there's no competition for a mate that they can hate each other a little less and then are appropriated into the "BFF" slot.
She sang Bad Romance to me. Not really the answer I was looking for.
The guy in front of me in lecture is using a fifth of smirnoff as a water bottle.
Nevermind, it's not water.
She trust falled out of a window. It was like that scene from A Little Princess but with a lot more blood.
I'm that hungover student in class ... On a wednesday morning
Omg I think I'm in the wrong class
Passed out on the bench in the men's bathroom. Feel much better now.
Well for number 40 i would prefer to at least like the guy attached to the dick
Its been 4 years since I have masturbated this hard. God bless the Olympics!
My addiction to golf is getting out of hand....I just caught myself swinging my dick like a putter while peeing.
For the record, just because I'm a mess doesn't mean I don't know what I'm talking about when I give you advice. I'm way better at other people's lives.
I am drunk please bring Taco Bell and sex
Never mind I found pizza just bring sex
My arrest report says I was found in midtown "performing lewd and lascivious acts on top of art meant for public display and enjoyment".
steve's beating me 4-2 in our "sexually confusing straight people" competition. steve is a wizard. this is not a drill.
Nothing can teach you regret more efficiently than a wine hangover.
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