so i was creeping on him today and there was like nothing new except he became a fan of getting dome
i wish i could be like. "i like giving dome, lets be friends"
I went to check the drunk texts i sent last night but my phone deleted them already. Even my phone is ashamed.
Look, all I'm sayin is $2 boilermakers and an expense account are probably a bad mix…
I'm just trying to think of how much money Little Debbie would make if pot was legalized.
You are just a treasure cave of fabulous alcoholic ideas.
Hardly remember what he looks like and the man has seen me passed out spread eagle. I begin this journey with such a disadvantage.
We didnt even know he was in the house until he came downstairs and asked why he was wet
If drawing me a picture of his dick in draw something is flirting then he is doing it wrong.
I don't really know how to explain this place...it's like I feel like I need an std just to fit in
Regardless of the amount of alcohol you may consume tonight - DON'T take anybody home
How hard to you think I will be judged if I order 8 giant pickles from Jimmy Johns right now?
WHY DOES HE HAVE TO CALL WHEN I'M MASTURBATING?! This time I'm really pissed. It's like he knows he's depriving me of orgasms.
And all you did was hit on me and do things "for America", so you weren't judged heavily
I'm not saying I haven't been that drunk. I'm just saying I haven't been that drunk and then have cops buy me shots.
i want george washington to fuck me as hard as he can holy shit
I hope Trump leaves Planned Parenthood alone for at least another month. The week got away from me. #whorelando
Randomize
