In these economic times, linking arms taking tequilla shots with your boss as an underage girl is the best job security I can think of
apparentely "Beer Pong Champ" is not a profession, no wonder they havent called me back......
told ya
She was running around the bar, demanding everyone call her Jesus or else she would attack them like a llama. ack.
i'm sorry if your life is a sore subject
he fell down during beer pong and the chick told him to rub the sand out of his pussy and suck it up. i am in love
Your subconscious sucks. Mine is awesome. I have a recurring dream where I manage a chocolate factory run by big titted hookers.
A) you're a liar. B) that would be awesome.
Normally I would go for him, but there's just way too much vodka under the bridge for that
I deem her datable let the dance of attraction commence
I don't want to tell anyone! People who sleep with senators either end up in porn or guantanamo
Steaks?
It's Ash Wednesday.
If you really think that not eating meat on a weeknight is going to keep you out of hell, fine. Can I use that chimichurri you made?
You need to get laid. You spent last night stumbling through the club pulling couples apart and telling them to leave room for Jesus.
A milkman. But instead of milk I'm delivering marijuana. And instead of a milk truck it's an armored car.
You're a weed delivery man, in an armored car?
Would it be totally wrong, that in honor of princess leias death, I role played as her??
Bro I just got a hand job playing tiny wings.. Hell yea
My bookbag can hold 30+ beers. They shoulda put that on the tag bc its a big selling point
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