is there an easy way to say "i didnt plan on sleeping with you until i saw how drunk you were" ?
Just did the walk of shame across state lines...milestone?
Im dancing with my grandma to Low right now at the wedding. There's no coming back from this.
my mom just used "raw dog" in a sentence correctly, time to move out.
It was only 12:11 and I needed to make a Pepto Latte and call it a night, I don't remember that being part of my new years resolution.
So getting a bj to I believe I can fly is one of the greatest things ever
You had us pull over so you could pee, you proceeded to pee in some random persons front yard while yelling "im not ashamed"
Look. If you get me out of this speeding ticket you can bang my sister. Or my mom. But not both.
I just want school to he over so we can build a big tent, do drugs inside it, and watch cartoons until the sun comes up.
That's all I've ever wanted.
Guess what I signed up for?!?!?!
Please tell me you're not selling your eggs.
She said if her future children dont have blue eyes she wont love them
An d I'd rather cry while putting a waffle in my mouth than cry on my pillow, ya feel me?
Have you seen him ? Seriously. No one is that straight.
At the end of the night i was really thirsty and tied to a bedpost
It's 1:37. You have 23 minutes to get your dick to the bar before I go home with the bartender... tick... tick...
Randomize
