Saw a guy smoking a cig holding it with a fork and driving WTF?
I just encouraged Kelsey to make out with some guy for beer so I could take one, does this make me a pimp?
By definition I think it does.
So this is what it feels like to be all that is man.
Life's too short to consider the larger psychological underpinnings of my lust.
the owner gave me a free bottle of vodka and a 12pack of red bull if i agreed to leave. my drunken antics are finally paying off.
is it just my freshly shaved vagina or is the guy at the end of the table pretty cute??
There was no way out of it, seeing as I left my photo ID right next to the vomit.
He would only do it doggy style. The "he's probably gay" debate rages on...
3 for 3 on getting girls who say "yolo" at the bar to have anal. Not the motto I live by, but it has changed my life.
Erry day erry day!
I don't really know how to explain this place...it's like I feel like I need an std just to fit in
Regardless of the amount of alcohol you may consume tonight - DON'T take anybody home
Alright, text me when you get close. I've got a mustache and I'm ready to get my day drunk on.
The waitress at the airport bar just asked me if I wanted a "to go" beer, hahahahaha OF COURSE I WANT A TO GO BEER.
I woke up with "To whom it may concern" sharpied on my dick
I just pulled back the shower curtain to reveal Cinnamon Toast Crunch and a spoon in the bathtub. Ambien is a hell of a drug.
I'm her ex, so unless you're interested in her massive moral failings and open season vagina, I'm not your guy.
You've had it in your mouth, how have you not seen it?
Randomize