her teeth looked like a whores toenails, i was too horrified to
OMFG, I'm seriously about to get fairly unpolite with this guy.
Wow. I bet he's shakin' in his boots.
I lost of the blow last night. Found it later in my bag labeled Fairy Dust.
Seriously. Doesn't matter if I went out last night, work is like crafts class w.a side of facebook
She said to delete the bj video, but I accidentally hit the 'send to her bf' button. My bad
I went to the gas station and the lady goes I remember you. Broken sunglasses and puke on your car.
and a jello shot exploded in my bra last night. Now I have blueberry smurfette boobs. Awesome.
Just sucked a bong hit straight from my girlfriends mouth & pretended I was a Dementor. Life just 87% more like HP.
It's 3:30pm, I've been out of bed for an hour and spent most of that barfing. We're switching to beer next debate.
I'm on a treadmill at the gym ordering pizza on my phone so it'll get to my house around the time I get home. I NEED HELP. Or I'm a genius. I haven't decided.
im just going to make a prayer circle of top ramen packets and cheap beer
You told me that you were as fast as lightning and you wanted to race me. Then you faceplanted after falling down the stairs.
Ever wonder what all the drugs you've ever done would look like put together?
Heaven. . It would look like heaven
He literally just laid flat on top of me motionless at one point. It felt less like foreplay and more like he was trying to use me as a flotation device. 0/10
We found him. He just came running out of the closet with a bruise on his face saying he has been fighting elves in Narnia for a year.
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