Having an 'SDSU Mom' sticker is just like say 'Hi, my daughter has an std"
You were running around the house covered in syrup, with shredded down pillow feathers on your body screaming "AFLACK!" at everyone
know what turns me on? long, stringy hair on a pasty looking girl with an overstuffed backpack and kneepads over her jeans in case she falls off her scooter
your less of a man for seeing that
well hello there hangover. fancy meeting you here on this BRIGHT thursday morning.
I must say your penis is just as photogenic as you
I guess since this is supposed to be my year of the lesbian it's okay
Who the fuck was that guy he kept pulling his dick out walking up to people trying to hand it to people and saying go ahead open the door like it was a door knob
Dude I'm about to just roll over and piss off the side of my bed, rather than make the conscious effort to get up and walk to the bathroom. One of those hangovers.
You're tall, so I have high hopes for your dick.
Hey, I'm making progress. I haven't thrown up in a bar while wearing a sweater vest in almost two months.
I have to have sex on a bidet. I'm not sure what kind, but it's reason #4 for an Italian vacation!
How weird would it be to ask your bro to 3d print your dick for me
I know! It's like he knows when my vagina wants to misbehave!
I stopped telling people I'm a pansexual unless they ask first, really tired of explaining what that means.
Note to self: NEVER have sex with anyone who is experiencing explosive diarrhea.
I've never been so happy to be celibate.
Randomize
