I haven't been able to trust a girl since spanks came out
Agreed. Everyone should experience a blackout before 3pm in their lifetime.
I'm in the line at the airport trying not to vomit on the person in front of me. Happy Tuesday.
They had to restock the bar 3 times before midnight. There is a bridesmaid dress hanging in a tree outside.
you say it like running around in your thong wasted is a bad thing
In reality u ask do u have beer at your house but what your really saying is will there be cock in my mouth
We aren't really supposed to respect our bodies til our mid twenties.
More cowboy butts than you can shake a stick at, oh joy.
Was the first guy that bit your neck last night wearing a trenchcoat...I have a vague memory.
she's like a sexy human version of my cat. i can't catch her, and she keeps throwing up in the corners.
There is a special place in hell for people who only eat the center of the pot brownies.
They're gonna put "is a hoe" on my medical records
she stuffed her marc jacobs purse full of cereal
classy
I've decided it's okay if I take a pregnancy test every month. Then I can be like, "Good job, self, way to not procreate this month!"
I didn't have any choice but to cuddle you. Your hair was stuck on my nipple piercing.
Randomize
