is it wrong that I prefer my women with low self esteem and a smidgen of an eating disorder?
I don't think brook has ever known best
Oh, and for future reference, telling a guy that your ass is too tight for anal is like painting a bullseye on it.
when a girl feels in her heart, the way she feels in her vagina, anything is possible.
Did they have a limo or was i just stoned?
Didn't I tell you I have developed a shameless theory about farting anywhere and everywhere? I'm too pretty so no one suspects me.
Just saw you drinking out of a flask on national tv. I've never been more proud of you
Just in case you were wondering..... I really did just wave goodbye to you with my penis.
is year to celebrate how much I love you, I made a mosaic of your penis with conversation hearts. it's in your mailbox.\n\nHAPPY VALENTINE'S DAY TO YOU
You will never be paid again to get drunk and tell off cops without being arrested. Once in a lifetime opportunity
You're right. Fuck my job. I'm in.
Signs of a stoner: trying everything in your fridge topped with peanut butter to seek satisfaction.
This is exactly why you shouldn't bang your bartender. Although the awkward free shots are a plus.
He suck his junk in my HALF BAKED. Ben & Jerry would totally disapprove. This is worse than sticky dick donut day.
Facebook is for cat videos and having better lives than people from high school, period.
He was licking my ear while recommending that I shop at IKEA. I think he's my perfect guy.
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