the russians are downstairs with the vodka loudly proclaiming happy birthday america. i don't care if it's the fourth, i care that it's 9 am and they woke me up.
Yeah i knew he wasn't okay when he told me he was "seeing his vision"
We followed the campus tour around in a golf cart drinking PBR and blasting "Sexual Healing."
It's only 8pm and Karl already got a stripper fired.
you had a pretty long talk with your shrooms in attempt to make them not give you a bad trip, it failed
if things do not go as planned you should see me walking down I81 blindfolded and pantless
Trust me I was high for like 5 years...I got this
Based off the amount of cat hair on my poncho....i stole a cat last night.
Just consider it? What else do you have going on today that could be as awesome as a day full of lord of the rings and sex?
There is someone hissing in the hallway. Not even a typo. Not pissing. Hissing. Like a large cat. Or a komodo dragon.
The Universe is CLEARLY playing a bad joke on your sex life
We found you wrapped up in a tarp in the garage the next morning, thats how real shit got.
I need drugs. Hard drugs. Today. Not tomorrow. Today. Something relaxing.
So I just watched a seagul attack my boss and steal his food in the parking lot. Today might not be a bad day lmfao.
She's like a squirrel. She spazzes out all the time.
Randomize