You work out of a Hotel?
that's like riding a pigeon when you could fuck a bald eagle
okay, certainly we can't screw this up, and even as I type, I know we will
Remember that crazy chick I've been ignoring and said I wouldn't bang her again? Can we start that again part today?
I'm just saying, asking "Are you happy with me?" during a handjob is simply unfair and scientifically inadmissiable.
I sat on the ground outside wawa chain smoking and telling two strangers about my sex life. I also accepted Rick James Bitch and Celine Dion as their names.
Maybe I'm just didn't notice and imagined a different penis as a Freudian coping mechanism?
Is it weird that I want to have sex wearing my glasses and lab coat while having an actual scientific discussion?
Well, I have a text in my phone that just says "Scrumtrelescent" from a girl I have in here as "Cheesy Tits", so you figure out how my night was going.
he had a beard, sexy nerd glasses and kept referring to his penis as 'this dick' its like jesus was saving my perfect match for my prime
Was about to close the deal last night until he said he hadn't seen the Taylor Swift video. So I made him watch it before I let him have sex with me.
He showed up at my house with roses and a bottle of vodka... to watch a movie. obvi i took the vodka and didn't sleep with him
You think you can just send me a picture of your dick and everything will be ok?
Yep.
I couldn’t resist. He had a camouflage condom. You know I love a man in a uniform
Only good thing about being an essential worker is that I have a letter allowing me to cross the bridge into jersey to get booze
Randomize
