so my car got towed last night. I didnt know it cost 118 dollars to have a college experience
he was pretty good aside from the whole putting his tongue on my butt thing
My facebook horoscope today said I will have a little "confusion". Obviously astrology understands a blackout.
does anyone know how to get red sharpie out of a white cat?
her face looked like how i feel after Taco Bell
i climbed out of the bath tub this morning and found him taped to the treadmill
Your roommates boyfriend just approached me while I was working to tell me about the staph infection he got on his face. Where do you find these people?
Cavemen vs astronauts. weapons to be determined. Who would win?
You know he really cares when he gives you one of those on-the-go toothbrushes for your walk of shame before running to work
I also think about what hot dudes penises are gonna look like when theyre 80 and it's not pretty
Just at the gym drinking. We call it treadmillcolada
It's a little sad/awesome that I scored coke within 60 seconds of walking in the bar.
The student becomes the teacher.
My penis is saying yes, several less important organs are saying noo...
so she gave me back a bag of clothing, had some boxers in it...they werent mine.... well that sums up 5 years of my life
they call themselves the foursome.. thats def means they're up for one right?
Randomize