K I think ***** turned off her phone. Guess I can't make her feel any more miserable tonight so I'm goin to sleep
I just woke up with a girl who has left and right tattoed on her wrists. In french. I may need to stop drinking.
She wouldn't stop telling me the story of the penis and how she got laid.
I love sluts.
I end my prayers with that every single night.
But like now everytime I pee I just think... wow I had sex with him on this toilet.
My dealer's mom died on christmas eve. Is it too soon to see if he's holding?
i'm not accepting baked goods from anyone for awhile. especially after the stalker pie.
I should start an etsy shop with all the jewelry and clothes women leave at my house
I feel so much better about my break up knowing that he's having his 26th birthday at Rollar kingdom\n
I could teach a class on "expressing your thanks through photos taken of yourself in the shower"
Is it bad that I have more guilt over drunk eating Doritos than hooking up with my ex's best friend last night?
Tell me not to drink and get on ladders. I think I need the reminder.. I'm clumsy enough sober.
He shampooed and conditioned his pubes but can't manscape for shit.
Ever look at an ex and wonder...was I drunk that entire relationship??
Yes, yes I do.
It was very surreal. They were listening to a religious podcast on morality while they both went down on me.
Randomize
