what happened last night??
everyone saw ******'s vagina
and that's just the beginning
I am currently eating pure cake frosting...I am not sure how I was ever referred to as a responsible adult.
I made my rape whistle into a roach clip device. FRESHMAN YEAR!
At the time, making out with dudes for keg money seemed like a genius idea. Now I realize it was borderline prostitution.
And i didn't ask you to do that, You showed your penis at your own free will.
well in DOG beers, i've only had one
Dear Penis Owner...our records show that you are overdue for servicing...please contact our friendly associates to schedule a thoroughly satisfying experience today...operators are standing by...
Late night whataburger runs are great, except if you're the one that gets left black out drunk puking in the backyard drinking from the water hose
The girls danced. I drank. Then I danced cause I was drunk. Then I ripped tim's shirt off cause I'm awesome.
So I deleted all the text from my phone, was looking for my mom's coffee order and show the coffee guy the pic of me eating pussy.
you didnt realize it, but you puked in the bushes in front of a church and yelled "GOD IS DEAD"
I yelled out "blow jobs!" in my macroeconomics class. Ask me more about how my life is spiraling out of control.
Not all of us can be into hot dads. Some of us have to have commitment issues and be into musicians.
I did what i always do when i miss him; masturbate and watch Bridges of Madison County.
You could at least care enough to fake an orgasm for me.
Randomize
