There's something fitting about a hot in-car interracial makeout to the tune of 'healing the world.' RIP Mike.
i am making flyers for the homeless letting them know about free chipolte day
While I was fucking her, they came in and served us both weed from a hookah. best. friends. ever.
They just sang me a song about how small my dick is in front of the whole bar
Come downstairs. Moms serving wine for breakfast again.
It was a rude awakening when I turned on my phone and the first thing I saw was a picture of David's dick with a face on it, I need to stop drinking in his basement...
Pre warning. Your not gonna sleep tonight cuz I'm staying with your roommate. Thanks for breaking up with me.
Quick question. What's the protocol on going back to a bar after going home with one of their bartenders?
Go back and try to find another to go home with.
Human Centipede: The Drinking Game. This is non-negotiable. First one to pass out the rest of us get to FEEEEED THEM!
can we get vodka so I have an excuse for being an emotional wreck
If kinky sex was an Olympic sport they would be playing the anthem for me as we speak.
He's in the hospital yelling at his brother to at least have stuck something "normal" up his ass.
Again?
I just want to be naked all the time but not in a sexual, come-hither and look at my ass sort of way. In a slightly chubby yet not ashamed way as I eat Taco Bell and lay on soft fuzzy blankets.
He wore socks while I was giving him head. I couldn't even focus on his penis because of the socks.
My life is literally "I'm too horny you can't leave" or "let's have pie" there's like no inbetween
Randomize
