the only difference between me and a prostitute was that i complained a lot more.
I had to puke in a pizza box on the drive home. People saw.
never let anyone you met on skype borrow your car. lesson learned.
he said the way to his heart was through his stomach, i told him if he wanted to eat my food he had to eat my kitty
smooth operator
Any coincidence your getting married tomorrow and it's the most predicted day for the rapture? Just saying
By the way, i got bored and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
Travelers Top-Tip: Europeans do not appreciate being repeatedly referred to as "gypsy" regardless of how good your Borat impression is.
I am now trying to reassure her that she doesn't have a wide-set vagina. So thanks, for whatever you said.
Porch rule of tonight: when you sing, you must use "something" as a microphone. The person to use the most "creative" object gets the door prize...so far Stephie is winning with Jennifer's dog.
Think of it this way, instead of a puppy, we're getting a baby.
He made me choke him and call him Papi..so all in all a good night.
Did we seriously steal a wet floor sign from McDonald's then get chased down by a homeless man for it? Never drinking again.
At leat we can cross off 'having sex in a classroom' on our bucket list.
I was gonna jerk off, but then I thought about that movie last night and it killed that idea. I have serious boner trauma.
I'm currently using a band-aid to cover my bar stamp from last night while I ask my professor for an extension. That's a sign of getting more responsible, right?
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