You are not answering and I think it is because you spent 80 dollars worth of drinks on you hot cousin.
Nothing says "You're all grown up now" like setting up your 401k with shitty underwear.
Avril Lavigne as a judge on Idol wearing devil ears. it's like every boner you ever had in 2002 just came true.
i've been thru my totinos phase. then after reading the ingredients and nutritional info i almost puked in my mouth. its like having the bastard child of pizza hut and mcdonalds invade your kitchen and start stabbing your digestive system.
afterward, he apologized, hugged me, and then gave me a granola bar and said “this is my apology gift.”
I hugged the bouncer as we left.
Wednesday is good, I needed the head count for the orgy, caroling can happen with as few as 2 people. There will be a pinata.
For the caroling or the orgy?
He kept telling me that it stood for Sex Utility Vehicle
I woke up to half of the whiskey bottle gone, and apparently I showered in my clothes. Pretty good start to SB2015 I'd say?
in a meeting in my bathtub while predrinkin for tonight. technology.
I'm making myself the patron saint of bisexuality
Bitch are you kidding? 2016 is gonna be the year our pussies run for president
So my ex just asked for my address to send me his wedding invitation... in Europe. Awesome.
That’s basically a green light to fuck his dad
So I met one of her cousins last night. She recognized me as "the guy that's always in the liquor store", I may have a problem.
Just got my LSAT score...if you need me I'll be drunk in a ditch somewhere.
Randomize
