What did you even date her?
because emotionally unstable girls are great in bed.
Apparently she came home completely covered in mud, pretending to be a bird...and she still had more sex than any of us this weekend.
Lots of alcohol. 3rd graders fuck me now.
Auto correct or actual 3rd graders?
The only funny part about this situation was this morning when they rounded up all the drunks in the ER, piled us into a minivan, then dropped us all off at our houses.
My neighbor Chris is here. I am warning you, he is wearing a kilt I just saw his balls. Be incredibly careful that you don't see what I did.
That doesn't mean I'm a slut. Unless McFlurries are involved.
I will rub McFlurries all over you.
Did i tell you my idea for my life plan? Not the one that involves stripping.
Did I mention I hooked up with another country star? I think I need some sort of trophy for each time, yah know? Or like a sash and I win a badge or patch for each person. Like a slutty Girl Scout.
Definition of cool: he wants a back tattoo of three horses running through a "paisley explosion"
How did he even become this person? Like what drugs has he done??
That's true because who the fuck doesn't love Harry Potter and beer
I impressed him by taking off my panties without removing my pants.
Babe, holding my hair while i blow you doesn't count as being romantic
he's a mother fucking interior design major!! we boned and fell asleep and now we're laying in bed discussing what color i should paint my room. i'm marrying him
They made Game of Thrones Oreos. Kill me.
Oh the sweet dreamless sleep of drugs
You? On what? Why?
Randomize
