she was talking to me but i could help but stare at the extremely long hairs on her boobs. then she says, "your looking at the hair on my boobs aren't you"
Grown men dancing to Spice Girls and a girl wearing one shoe. I belong here
You should really come over right now. There's hot construction workers across the street. I'm gonna go pour beer on myself in a bikini on the sidewalk. See you in 5?
Are you seriously gonna shit with that life vest on?
Like that girl needs to get her shit together. For her vagina's sake.
Dude this stripper just dry humped the settings off my phone. She earned that dollar
Target doesn't accept your signature for your credit card if you draw a dick on the pad. Even of your name is Richard.
Eric and I just went in the hallway to practice our new handshake in a real life situation at live speeds. That high.
Would it be totally inappropriate to have his frat and our sorority Teebowing our exit from the abortion clinic?
You shouldn't have to. I think you should bust into work like "pay homage to my magical vagina!"
Also there's a home game tomorrow and I thought about holding up a sign that says, "I madeout with #64 during orientation week" would that be inappropriate??
I just woke up to a ten minute voicemail of you sobbing about the X-Men. Stop getting drunk and watching Marvel movies.
BUT WOLVERINE IS SO TORMENTED AND JUST WANTS TO BE LOVED
I drunkenly texted ur dad last night telling him he raised great kids hahahahaha
You and your dick were a topic of high regard tonight
I’m making a jello mold of my penis
Will it be as disappointing as your actual penis?
Randomize
