I prefer the term 'tenderly watching'
such a stalker...
she wanted to love me. she just didn't know it yet.
Gross thing of the day...i got cum in my new boots
I just puked in a penis shaped cake pan. I've hit an all new low for a Tuesday.
I fucked my boyfriend 15 minutes before my pap test. My gyno probably thinks I hate her.
Pray the makeout fairy visits me this weekend.
she didnt realize that i was putting on the same condom i used the night before with some other girl
There are apples in the microwave and a cup of twigs in the fridge. I think she's hiding in the pantry, I can hear her giggling. Leaving her to it.
I met her dad while holding 4 empty beer bottles at the opera house. I think I made a hell of an impression.
Her idea of kinky involved a tazer
wtf?
I'm going back tonight
that man is just a bundle of powerful magic and poor judgment
The resort was totally empty, just June and I. Which of course lead to EXCESSIVE day drinking and outdoor fucking. FYI Dominicans LOVE to watch.
I just did shots of fireball with my dad in a car wash. How's your pregaming going?
I think I'm going to call this chapter of my life story "Weekday day-drinking in the park isn't just for the homeless!"
yeah it's a weird friendship. we pretend that we're automatic besties but i know we both know i slept with her boyfriend
Did you finish that presentation yet?
No but don’t worry about it. I do my best work in the middle of the night. I’m like a hamster.
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