david just texted me. reply with photo of genitalia? y/n
It's a beautiful day for a hangover
His texts read Like a 15 year olds diary.
i just identified you from a description of your pipe
Not even close. I woke up in the bed of Codys truck. Wrapped up in a sleeping bed, using a stuffed alligator as a pillow. And Alex was laying naked beside me. Not to mention I wasn't wearing the clothes I got there in.
she pulled the sheets over her head to blow me but the static kept making little lightning bolts and I was too high and got really scared she was going to electrocute me.
Let's not fuck on an air mattress tonight...I'd rather get rug burn.
I am in his childhood bedroom and I feel like his trophies are applauding me and his stuffed bunny is disgusted with me. Did you know he was a mathlete?
I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date.
Are there any rules against fucking the hot TA?
Maybe for her....
Her problem, not mine
I thought you might think I was an idiot who thought cock rings prevent STDs,
he can suck his own dick, i cant compete with that
I feel like you can't break up with someone on 420. It's against stoner code
Somehow, walking in on your drunk mom in a diaper was the least traumatic thing I saw last night
i haven't seen you in two years and we have like 16 hours, all i want is cuddles, wine, and some light groping
Randomize
