You look like a girl that would like strip clubs
its officail im naming my first born child brickbreaker
getting your period on valentines day is like an extra little fuck you, now you REALLY have no chance of sex tonight.
worse. her friends hid in the bathroom while she gave me head and then screamed surprise right as i was about to cum
Are you being sarcastic? I can't tell this time because you're in the hospital.
Nothing like hearing a USA chant while getting head. God bless America.
I just spent the last 30 mins playing uplifting songs to my uterus, & there's no way I'm pregnant.
He was standing in the front door with a kareoke machine yelling at the neighbors as the unloaded their van
i can recognize that vagina from a mile away
Just woke up bloody and clutching a rear view mirror I'm pretty sure is from my car. For those of you keeping score at home this is why I stopped drinking four loko.
I mean, you've seen me eat pizza, sober, out of a garbage can, and yet I refuse to go eat at that place. Just sayin....
Dunno. My heart says "no", my brain says "maybe" and my dick says "YES YES FOR THE LOVE OF GOD YES!!"
I had to switch coats with someone at work because you can see the giant sex choke bruise on my neck. Being kinky is hard.
He wore pink swim trunks on our date and repeatedly insulted my profession, but his cat kept standing up like a person to nuzzle my face and I felt like a Disney Princess. I hate this dude, but the cat is too amazing for me to not fake interest for.
Ok, stop saying "youths." You're 23.
Randomize
