Okay, I have a threesome with foreigners and suddenly I'm a man-whore
GM filed for bankruptcy, all the dealerships closed, and it's june and I'm in jeans and a sweatshirt and I'm cold. What is the point of living in this state anymore?
How come it tastes like onions whenever I go down on her?
dont ever smoke after you drink again... i dont think ive ever seen...or heard of someone throwing up and farting at the same time. that is, if you were farting.
his Mom's staying with him so he asked if I'd go over and fuck in his shed. he said "it's a really nice shed"
I was just referred to as 'the margarita slut' by an 11 year old.
just when i thought i had forgotten how badthe sex was he comes across campus solely to say hi
I'm sooo hungover. I fell asleep on top of a car in a parking lot last night. New one to add to the list.
Its a first. Never been peed on in a line to concert. First time for everything.
She kept telling me it was a squirtgun.
Girl. There is the cutest old gay here. He's approximately 100 years old and kind as shit.
Did u know it's unconstitutional to turn down a shot during 4th of July celebrations.. Rest now dear liver
Pedi-lyte stocked
Getting dressed and listening to the song Buffalo Bill danced to in Silence of the Lambs. I'm a perfect psych major.
And regarding bottomless mimosas stopping at 1 pm, there was a chick who drove her car into the back of the bar. Blame that bitch, not you peeing in the koi pond.
Oh my god, it's like someone broke the off button in my butthole
No it's like. I don't respect you. And I think you're a terrible person but. I still wanna bone it out.
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