Swine flu. Run for my life!
This girl looks like a mixture of kathy griffin and bill walton. i havent decided if that is a good thing.
The drink u got me is pineapple something w. Cigarete ashes in it.ima drink it anyway
you were mad bc i took longer then 2 minutes to finish
dude, it should not be this hard to find a bottomless mimosa on a friday morning
I think i just threw up blood. i can't chill right now;
I'm like a number 27.2 on a scale of 1-10 of how badly I want you right now.
Your lack of a response brings it down to a 25.4.
I feel like the way dolphins mate would be the approach that a guy would have to use in order for you to sleep with them
That's what he gets for shittin at the strip club. Who does that??
Just sucked some sandy dick on a boardwalk & now I'm at a family reunion hbu
Go to the bar. Find a girl. Ask if she can cook. Tell her you have a guitar at home. Ask her if she wants to see it. Bring her home. Sleep with her. Tell her it's your birthday in the morning. Enjoy your made with lust breakfast.
i can trust myself, just not when im drunk. and drinking is my favorite pastime
Last night I crashed my housemates tinderdate, smoked his weed and then left. He felt too awkward to say no.#Empowerment
This guy knew what he was doing. Most guys can't find the spot even if it shot off a flare and played a kazoo.
It was hands down the most magical fuck I've ever had
It was the only fuck you've ever had..
Randomize
