do you remember what downloading porn with a 14k modem was like?
Holy shit! This guy had his hands and feet handcuffed and was scooting across the interstate and we almost hit him because it was so dark. I hate Louisiana.
there should be a rule- if you jizz on it, you wash it
I woke up on the steps beside a plate of spaghetti and a toilet paper roll ripped in half. And i actually think this day is gonna get better.
long story short: there's a file in the master file cabinet labeled "lube".
Can you come over to my place and make up for the crap you called sex yesterday?
Good morning to you
no normal human would even think about making waldo slutty but you
I am fine. Katie thinkr i broke things pole dancing. I am coherant.
you puked in the bathtub and said "let them pee"
I didn't have the heart to tell him that the reason my vagina was so "prelubricated" was because I had just had another gentleman caller an hour earlier. So, when he commented about how turned on I appeared, I just went with it.
I can wear a rubber suit at three am and spank someone's ass until its sore and fuck them three ways from Sunday. And get up the next day and do their laundry. As long as once in awhile they rub my back without expecting anything
Okay, tomorrow we'll have a day of life-sorting and plasma-selling.
you said you wanted to call me grandma and give me hugs
I don't remember much, but I remember he called me the dick whisperer, so it must not have been all bad.
For someone who's supposed to be gay Greg is really good at seducing me into things I don't wanna do
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