How young is too young to ask my kid to make me a drink?
Is it really that bad? I heard it was like pooping. I like pooping.
I guess calling a coworker a lesbian sea cow is some kind of violation.
she met some random, took his vcard, peed in his bed, left, and then requested him as her boyfriend on facebook
So after I pop out this baby we need to just go on a monthlong coke binge so I can get skinny again before vegas
I'm sober enough to question why I have your name as "the wolverine" in my phone.
My dad is so drunk he attempted to ride my two year old cousin's tricycle. For a solid five minutes.
I just told the toilet I loved it. Bad sign.
No one is allowed to go to bed until all bottles are finished, I don't want to feel my face tongiht. Do you understand?
Shawn wouldn't stop singing about his cock on the ride home that night it freaked my girlfriend out how consistent he was
I just got a job offer for Australia. Unfortunately I have given the name of Whitney
HE ASKED IF I HAD SIBLINGS WHEN I ASKED HIM TO LICK MY ASSHOLE
I'm so glad I can be everyone's guide to the world of fucked up kinks
Just calm down. My foot long super joint and I will be over shortly.
My arm is completely dead, never again will i give you a 20 minute hand job. You better have enjoyed that asshole. I have to text with my left hand now.
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