the drag queen on stage looks like shes wearing the EXACT same dress i wore 2 senior prom.
She has an incinerator in her basement. Have you ever incinerated used condoms?
Lmao what?
It's a yes or no question.
My plan for valentine's day: take a shot for every guy I've slept with. To keep me from going to the hospital I'm only doing half a shot for small dicks
just saw someone whip out a flask during lecture... I think I found a study partner
Smoked a joint and chugged some pepto. Feeling a lil better... Not sure which is working..... Gonna keep doing both.....
Did you guys seriously let me trade my id for a kebab last night??
Hootey the Owl eats a mean pussy.
Um, OK. WTF?
The guy from the Halloween party. We finally hooked up. Went down in me for 45 mins. Came 4 times.
Until they make a bed that bathes you in your sleep, I will not be satisfied.
NO SHITSVILLE I just saw a homeless dude punch a pigeon that flew by him
The hint wasn't even a hint. it said "stop talking to her" that's pretty straightforward
It's okay, big boobs are better than running.
He is getting no nudes from me. I don't even care if I'm losing his legal advice.
For the record you're an amazing lay and you have great taste in breakfast sandwiches
I vote we just hike, drink, and destroy dick
Last night i walked into a gas station to get condoms. I threw them on the counter and the guy gave me a funny look because i was wearing a bra under an open cardigan and no shoes. I screamed "DONT JUDGE ME!" and he gave them to me for free.
Randomize
