I was getting a bj with sports center on in the background
Da na na, na na naa
They just gave us root beer floats. I guess I won't quit my job today.
I'm going as Jenn Sterger if she answered Favre's calls and ended up in a trash can. If I don't get laid tonight I'm going to be pissed
I've blown him so many times I feel like I have a better relationship with his dick than I do with him.
Wait wait wait. I remember riding in her car to the next bar. On your lap. With my head on the dashboard. That probably should have been my cut off point.
I realized it was a bad idea when I broke my collar bone
Taking a semester off always leads to bad things like having a baby or getting married
Today's hangover is a "wear sunglasses while pooping in the dark" kind of day
I whispered "you're doing a great Job" when he was fucking me. Then high fived him.
you were yelling that somebody needed to take your bra off with such enthusiasm my first thought was that you were on fire.
Might I also add after my boss threw up in the garbage can and yelled puking rally, he dougied, then told me I wasn't about that life.
What's the address and code again...does anyone need anything and why is my viking helmet on the bed?
I'm gonna eat more dunkaroos to cope with what's in my vagina.
HER BOYFRIEND CAME HOME WHILE WE WERE GETTING IT ON IN THE SHOWER
At least you smelled nice while he kicked your ass.
The bartender remember my drink from last sat. I think we just became drocals...drunk. locals.
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