We saw some woman wearing leather pants. It was weird. We have decided to follow her on her travels to see where people go in leather pants in Michigan.
i hit her car. ill just send her a farmville gift in the morning. then it'll be alright.
He asked me to touch his mustache. Should I go home with him?
If u were an xman, what would ur power be? I would shoot lasers from my boobs.
shouldve known this week was gonna be bad when I threw up in my coffee mug
His health insurance plan WILL NOT cover Lasix surgery but it WILL cover 100% of a penis enlargment operation...
Apparently "he pulled out..mostly" is not a valid reason for thinking there's no way i can be pregnant to the nurses at the student health center.
Just put my hand under my pillow and found a peach ring. Lat night just came rushing back.
What's the address?
Too drunk. Just google it.
IT'S YOUR HOUSE
Nurse helped me count all my sexual partners and still gave me her phone number. She shall be #73.
Her hotness level dropped from an 8 to a 2 as soon as I walked into her place. It REEKED of cat piss and there was no litter box and NO CATS.
Not really how I planned to achieve immortality, but I'll take it.
Please wake up and help me figure out how I woke up on the floor with my head under the couch
Where'd you go?
Laundry, im. A responsible drunk
We still on for Manwhore Monday?
Randomize
