Being 21 is my favorite hobby I'm really good at it
You just compared our sex life to a seven year old kid.
lol earlier she was acting like a normal gf... and then BANG! shes touching herself again...
girl next to me is signing up for tough love. definitely getting laid.
The pet store wouldn't sell us fish because they said they could tell we were drunk.
Update: still drunk enough to get lost in Zellers and to think my reflection was my mother. Awesome day.
He turned off the music when i walked in and introduced me to everyone. then they gave me jager and made me chug it while holding a giant purple dildo. everything resumed when i finished
All I wanted was a quiet evening to masturbate and eat cake and instead you ruined it by bringing girls over.
I don't think I even want to know why you are sending my husband pictures of your nutsack.
All I know is when I checked my phone this morning google translate was open with "help the cow ate my robot" translated to French
The girl I was Skype sexing just asked for a moment of silence for robin Williams.
Pretty sure when I woke up the next morning we were still fucking. It just didn't stop.
My car has a permanent smell of sex to it now.
But he's super into Jesus and I'm the devil. So we weren't meant to be
Is it acceptable to bring pot to a funeral or am I going to have to do this shit sober?
Randomize
