I blew a .224 after sleeping for 6 hrs, cleary im a champion
turns out gay frats are just like normal frats, only with more v-necks
he got a rim job in the basement.
apparently i was the one who gave it to him.
the potatoes in the margarita machine wasn't the breaking point. its when he turned on the stove and put a bunch of bottle rockets on it that i knew the night had prematurely failed
You don't understand. He was so ginger that he could make red hair a dominant gene. And I refuse to torture my future spawn like that.
I sent him pictures of just me in my thong and he replied "you're so sweet, you make me feel special <3".... Oh.
Breathalizer & tazer party did not go as casually as expected.
Idk. The last coherent text said something about $25 & dimes. And then...it's just letters...
There's a naked man in my car right now.
I think I ingested my vampire fangs last night.
Successful first night. Lost my phone. Front desk found it. Earthquake in wine country. Didn't feel it.
when I called the strip club they said there was a note with my credit card. "girl who punched guy in throat" fuck daytona
this is an emotional support booty call
He still want's to kick my ass for fucking his sister, probably a bad idea to leave the bar with his ex...
You let the ASEXUAL teach sex Ed?!
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