I never said you were fat, just too fat for ME
IS FOOTBALL GONNA SUCK HIS DICK? NO, IT IS NOT
like when he blacked out and we found him in the garden eating your tomatoes off the vine
I swear I only do things like fuck 19 yr olds just to hear how you laugh when I tell you.
and on the second day it was tequilla tuesday. and the lord saw it was good.
Update: I only have one shoe. The other one now belongs to the gods of jello-wrestling. May it rest in peace.
The fact that every guy you've slept with since you've lost virginty either have the same first or last name isn't normal.
Im making gravy in a lace bra and jeans. Just call me the southwern wet dream
We fucked to the rythmn of the thunder, it was magical
I really care about you, but im still gonna have to make you pay for dinner from the pain and suffering in my knees and vagina.
Haha, how do I word that nicely? "You got me to the edge of no return twice and failed to let me orgasm, therefore you owe me chicken nuggets or hot wings. Your decision"
handcuff keys just fell out of my bra....wtf happened last night?
Damn. Looks like nobody I know is doing anything interesting. Guess it's another slut-it-up-with-strangers sort of night.
Kinda thinking about going to my moms wedding high
The only food I have to eat is weed gummies and magic mushrooms... This is peak 34
Randomize
