In line at the arbys drive thru on foot. Legendary.
Flying into Chicago for a few days, getting re-deployed in September, we should probably fuck
Kristina got the same text from you just now, she's sitting next to me, how many people did you send this to?
If lil wayne asked you to lick him like a lollipop I feel that you would willingly oblige.
Unfortunately I think I would lick most anyone's lollipop.
It's your form of community service; servicing the greater SDSU area.
the fucking easter bunny is here. he just made 3 cups in a row. no one knows who he is..
i didn't know falling asleep in the tbell line could get you a dui. Isn't everyone there stoned or drunk?
I think it's time we have the "weird fetish" talk.
hungover at the ER to get half my contact removed from behind my eye. Not the start to the weekend I was hopin for
He did a line of coke off my stomach then flipped me over and smacked my ass. Then, while he was talking dirty to me, he told me he wanted to hire someone to clean my room. And that's when he lost his boner. Life is so hard.
I'll be thirty in eight months. I think my goal is too stop changing my pants in the parking lot at work by then.
HIS NAME IN MY PHONE IS JOSHUA DREAMCHASER I CAN NOT
NO SHAME NOVEMBER
Also this guy in my contact as hairy jerry sent me a pic of him shirtless and said I miss you and I have no idea who he is /when or if I met him but that's not normal?!
I can't believe you cupped pat's balls to prove your fake relationship
i spent my Thursday drinking before noon and not wearing pants
However, pretty glad I spent the night puking on my car instead of fucking him. Then I'd REALLY be miserable.
I think my brain is throwing up inside my head. How do you live like this?
Randomize
