I was the only open register tonight and I just sold condoms and chocolate frosting to the ex..
nothing as in nothinggggg kills the mood for me is when a girl with 4 cm nipple hair
He' s half Black and half Italian, I finally asked...this penis maybe one for the records.
Whats the count minus fat chicks?
No one wears that much makeup to work unless they are trying to fuck their boss, NO ONE
I mean its not the first time I passed out drunk at barnes and noble.
He wore a Medeval Times crown while I gave him a BJ
Is asking my 8-year-old brother if he will make us shot glasses in his ceramics class too far?
your ex girlfriend just barged in my house, drunk, mumbled something about "car strip", and put a huge hole in my drywall with her head.
And I think short bridesmaids dresses are the best idea especially for bathroom sex
I called her 20 times. Apparently she went home to do MORE shots before bed. Didnt miss me until this morning. WHO FORGETS THEIR HIGHSCHOOL SISTER AT A FRAT?
Apparently i asked the cab driver how much the ride was going to cost, (he said about $25) then i offered him 50 to let me drive the cab...
Halfway through lecture, some kid in the front row threw up IN his hands. Professor held the door for him to carry it out.
He asked me what I wanted for Christmas. I told him an orgasm would be nice.
Also fucking you night and morning and then serving your parents breakfast is a bit awkward. And funny. To me.
Randomize
