The party tonight has no theme but I decided to go as a home wrecker.
Is it awkward that I've slept with every guy in this room?
Only if they know about it too.
Ketchup is God's man juice
dude totally just got the jungle juice out of my white top. i am really ready to be a trophy wife.
I just got sparklers from my secret santa. Drunken sledding just got to a whole new level of dangerous
I should have but it might be too early in this fuckbuddyship to emasculate him
Watching her eat just hurts me
Too much alcohol and too many lesbians. I can officially say I have regrets now. At least that's something.
Think of it this way, instead of a puppy, we're getting a baby.
Kyle's mobile fuck service..... Kinda has a nice ring to it don't you think??
I lost Mario kart three times but I got laid so it wasn't the WORST night I've ever had.
Dude. All I know is that I woke up on the floor with two naked chicks who don't speak English.
Clutch
Should we make a shared Google doc list of places we want to fuck? Like a scavenger hunt?
Well, I have no idea where my underwear is, so yea I would say it was a good weekend.
Its that time in the evening when I've had a few cocktails and wish you'd make a video about the packers and Jack Daniels.
Randomize
