**i WaNt TO sLaP mY niECe wHO ThINks iT iS cUte tO WriTE LiKE tHiS**
I heard you threw up in your lap?
I heard that too.
there's something wrong with the internet when a search for "barney the dinosaur violence" comes up with nothing
that would combine my 3 fave things. christmas funfetti and paul simon
I guess we had a small kitchen fire somehow when we decided to bake fruitroll ups and croutons...
Romer got arrested for getting in a bar fight with a bus boy because he was trying to steal a keg, had it all the way to the car
just saw someone climb out of the dumpster at cvs and start walking down the street like it was completely normal
I will give you all my nachos to make this happen
Last time we had an ultimatum like that, things went very far south. I'm down, but it's your turn to wake up in a hospital.
I had to puke in a ditch beside a cow pasture and like 50 cows just stood there and watched. I could feel the judgment.
I am so sorry. Not sure for what, but whatever I did last night probably merits an apology, so I'm covering my bases.
THAT'S NOT NICE
NEITHER WAS PROMISING NOT TO TAKE MY SISTER'S VIRGINITY, THEN PROMPTLY DOING SO
You know darned well I have a well-documented weakness for redheads, Subway and hand-drawn graphic novels.
He let me eat chexmix while we fucked... I think I love him.
remind me again why we thought drinking hungarian moonshine was a good idea
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